An announcement

This is a little late, but my head has just now stopped reeling.

Within the last week, Logan took a job, we packed, and we moved our family (yes, and the two week old baby) from Waco to Coppell.

There are so many things in that statement that make me say, what?

But the long and short of it is that Logan got a great job that he loves in Dallas, so we decided to take the plunge and move. We are renting a house, and I am going to stay home with the babies for a while.

If hard is good, I know that this will be a good thing for us. Because if I'm honest, lots of this is going to be hard. Leaving our community, going from working at a job I love to just being a mom to my babies, fully saying goodbye to the life of school, and moving back to my hometown (which, P.S., is somethingI never dreamed of). It's a lot to ponder. Enough for multiple blog posts probably, but that's for another day.

It's hard to end this little message. It actually physically pains me to think that the door is closing on this part of my life, but I'm so grateful that I got to experience this little wonderful pocket of the world for the last seven years. To all the people who have been our community, to UBC, to my admissions family, thanks. I never dreamed when I got to Waco as an 18 year old that I would leave it bringing with me so much more than I came with. (Although, the old Corolla that brought me there is still up and kicking).

Here's to some new adventures.

From the past

Listening to music from the past conjures up the weirdest sensations, doesn't it? Makes my heart race. I think because it transports me so thoroughly that it's startling. Sometimes I can't listen to it. Maybe that's weird? But this morning I've been enjoying it.

 

like this.

It also makes me happy that the subtitles in this video are, for some reason, in Spanish.






How is it that so much time has passed, but it feels exactly the same?

Temporarily alone

So...I didn't want to complain to the internet about being home alone all summer because that seemed unwise and creepy, but now I can safely say that I have survived two months of Logan interning in Dallas. (Leaving me working in Waco with baby in tow).

Buddies

Somehow it went by in a blur of bottle washing, going to bed early, and pizza. So much pizza.

It dawned on me towards the end that I was feeling this nostalgic sort of independence that I haven't felt since college. Ellis was there, of course, but apart from him and Logan via phone, no one had claims on my time or attention. Even our dog was out of town.

It was interesting and strange to (almost) revert back to that independence. Even if my actions didn't differ that much, it felt different. I felt different.

This is no humble-brag; it's a confession. It's often easier to be alone.
I guess what it comes down to is that having people in your life requires something from you. Friends, family, children, anyone. Even if it's worth it, even if it is totally voluntary, even if it is barely perceptible, it takes something to not live solely for yourself.

That being said, it is wonderful not being alone. I'm so glad that Logan is back, and I hope we never have to repeat this summer's set-up again. Houses should be full of noise and movement and love. We need people to validate our existence.

I like to imagine that Logan and I will have a big, rollicking family someday. The truth is that if that's going to happen, I'm going to have to be okay with being pouring a lot of myself into people. Not in a sad, self-denying-martry-type way, but in an abundant, teeming-with-life-that-can't-be-conatined way. Something to grow into.